Metacognition: Thinking about thinking
What is metacognition?
For a while, I’ve worried that my thinking about my thinking is harmful, or just plain weird. But, I’ve come to realize that, yes, it’s weird, but it’s more of a strength than anything.
So, what does it mean to think about thinking? According to Ness Labs article titled Metacognition: the mind’s Swiss Army Knife:
The word metacognition literally means “above cognition” — it’s one of the most powerful forms of self-monitoring and self-regulation. It’s a fancy word for something fairly simple once you break it down.
Put simply, metacognition is thinking about thinking or knowing about knowing. It’s being aware of your own awareness so you can determine the best strategies for learning and problem-solving, as well as when to apply them.
However, from my simplified point of view, it means assessing my thoughts, evaluating my feelings, and exploring different future paths in real-time, often during conversation.
The shift from passenger to driver
From a conversation standpoint, the shift from passively experiencing your thoughts to actively observing them changes a lot. Through actively observing, you can eventually dial up or down your intensity and articulation. You can predict the listener’s reaction and adjust real-time before they react. You can change the tone or direction of the conversation. You can open up the dialogue for real engagement and not just talk for the sake of talking.
From a problem-solving standpoint, you can take an honest assessment of how you learn best, how you learn the worst, and ways to apply that learning. You can be honest about your goals and about how long it will take you to achieve the thing that you want to achieve. You gain a superpower that allows you to project “what-if scenarios” instantaneously, which can open or close a number of paths and next steps.
Thinking about thinking truly does take you from passenger to driver. No conversation lingers, and no problem goes unsolved when you understand why you understand.
An example of metacognition in action
This is the story of a softball dad. As a former baseball player and sports addict myself, I’m ALWAYS ready to give 110%, but my 10-year-old isn’t always so dedicated. Therefore, I struggled with not getting frustrated or overly instructing her. So, my way to battle that was through a form of metacognition. I decided to engage my daughter in the process so she can see what I see and she can tell me what she sees. This was a small win that satisfied my need to have more control of the situation and allow my daughter to think about her thinking and contribute to the solution.
Before practice, we jumped to the future state and talked about what her best practice looks like.
During practice, I would ask her to self-assess, in a healthy way, to identify things she’s doing well and not doing as well. This is for understanding, not for shaming.
After practice, on the drive home, we would talk and reflect on how practice went. Questions like “What do you think you did best at?” or “What moment of the practice or game resonated with you the most?”
This small shift didn't just make practice more productive, but it transformed our car rides home. Instead of a tense debrief, we started having real conversations about the game, and I felt more like a supportive coach than a frustrated dad.
Start the conversation with yourself
Ultimately, metacognition is less about having all the answers and more about asking better questions—of yourself, the situation, and the path forward. It turns out that the 'weird' habit of thinking about my thinking is the most useful tool I have. It’s a skill that strengthens with practice, turning everyday challenges into opportunities for growth and connection. I encourage you to try it; you might be surprised by what you learn when you start listening to your own inner dialogue.